Week 11(oops): Born to be Free

So this morning I hear my lovely almost 2-year-old daughter talking in her room, like she does most mornings upon waking.

"Poo-poos," she says.

And she means it.

I open her door a crack and walk away (I let her come out when she's ready to avoid some toddler drama).

She comes waltzing out into the living room.

Naked.

And completely covered in poop.

My first reaction was to laugh, shortly followed by anger.

Trying to keep it together I look at her and ask, "What happened, baby?"

Now keep in mind she isn't even two yet so her talking skills are limited.

"Poo-poos diaper potty bed."

"Bed?" Oh no.

She leads me to her room (which is a disaster because she insists on sleeping with every stuffed animal she owns and kicks them all on the floor in her sleep).

There is poop and pee everywhere. And on everything.

I try to keep my composure as I march her to the bathroom (thankful we don't have carpeting) and run a bath.

She is ecstatic. She loves baths!

As I sit on the toilet I begin crying the overwhelmed mother cry.

And then one of our kittens jumps on the side of the toilet to see what the fuss is and falls in.

He frantically climbs out and streaks across the house, leaving a trail of dirty poo-water behind him.

Then the baby starts crying.

I do the only thing I can think to do.

I pray.

Lord, help me not to lose my crap today. Give me the wisdom to know she does not know better. Give me the strength to make it through today without killing the kitten. And give me peace about the fact that my house never is (nor ever will be) perfectly clean.

Also, a live-in maid wouldn't hurt.

Amen.

Now to clean and sanitize everything!

What's your messiest poop story? How did you deal with it?

Have a great rest of the week!

- M