Week 13: Pretty Young Thing

I was browsing around the Internet this morning, and I came across Miley Cyrus' new video "Wrecking Ball".

Now before I continue, know that this is not a message of hate I am trying to send. Merely an opinion.

In this video, Miss Cyrus is shown wearing a tiny tank top and undies holding a sledgehammer. And then all of a sudden, she is naked riding a wrecking ball.

I was shocked. She showed pretty much everything except her nipples and you-know-where.

Now, I am aware that she has taken a lot of heat recently (especially after her performance at the VMA's) yet is not the only celebrity guilty of showing too much skin. Janet Jackson, P!nk, and Angelina Jolie are guilty of this among many others. This is not just about her or directed at her, but her video kind of just set me over the edge.

But, really? All those little girls that totally looked up to her six or so years ago as Hanna Montana, now are seeing this. This is their role model.

As a mother of two girls, if my daughters ever do something like this, I will glue clothing to them if I have to.

I find it distasteful.

I have seen many, many people say things like "Well she has a beautiful body, so she should show it off!"

Let me explain why I disagree with this.

1. You are insinuating that if a woman is not attractive, she should cover herself up as much as possible. Those of us who do not have "perfect bodies" (myself included) really don't need to have it rubbed in our faces that we do not, and probably never will, look like that.

2. All of the comments that I saw like this were made by men. And men are more visual than women. That is why porn is more popular with men. So I am not surprised that men want to see 20-year-olds naked without having to download it. And personally, I would not want creepy guys lusting after my body (or for future reference, those of my daughters).

3. I believe that only a husband should ever see his wife in this state. Call me old-fashioned (or hypocritical if you like), but I believe that it is a way of honouring our husbands or future husbands by saving something for them. If our naked bodies are available on the Internet for anybody to see, what is there left for him? What is his? (Obviously stuff like gynaecologists are the exception.)

4. Yes. She is a beautiful girl. But to say something like this is to say she is only beautiful when she is naked. Thus sending out the message that girls should wear less clothing in order to be more attractive. This is not only wrong but it makes my stomach churn. We are perverting the minds of the younger generation to believe that it is not only alright to walk around half-naked, it is a good thing.

Now as someone very close to Miss Cyrus' age, I can relate. You get to a certain age and you want to rebel. You want people to know that you are your own person and nobody can tell you what to do.

Fair enough.

But when you live in the media spotlight (as she and her family undoubtedly do) you have to be careful. North Americans look at celebrities as an image of how to behave.

And this is not the message that I want to see coming through the television or Internet in my house. Not just as a mother but as someone who watched her grow up on TV.

I will not comment on her sexually licking the sledgehammer other than to say it was unnecessary and just plain gross.

On another note, I don't want my husband or other men to see things like this. It is videos and images such as this that puts to some extent an expectation in men's minds.

It makes them too believe that a woman is not beautiful if she is dressed modestly. (Not all men, obviously, but people tend to have very impressionable minds).

Now I believe Miss Cyrus to be an intelligent young woman. She is a very talented singer. But she does not need to grab our attention by flaunting her naked body. There any many singers who do very well without doing this.

I know there are lots of pressures on celebrities to act certain ways. But she is an adult and capable of using her brain and making her own decisions.

Also, that video really made me want to bust something up with a sledgehammer. That is all.

Sincerely,

- M

Week 12: 'Til Death Do We Part

Let me first explain the title of this week's post…

In our culture, pretty much everyone says those words when they marry.

And it is the biggest sham of all.

In North America we have a divorce rate of 50%.

And that isn't to count all the affairs and separations that do not necessarily end in divorce.

So, obviously, people do not mean it when they say these words.

Or do they?

I believe that they believe they mean them.

Most of us know that feeling that pop-culture would have us call "love".

Butterflies in your tummy. Flushed cheeks. Heart pounding. Mouth dry. Sometimes tears in your eyes.

This is what people feel when they are dating. When they propose/are proposed to. When they say "I do" in front of all their loved ones.

But, my friends, I am about to blow you away.

This is not love.

I will say it again. This is not love!

I read once that "Love is friendship set on fire".

But I do not believe this to be true. Love is not a fire.

Because, guess what? Fires eventually burn out until there is nothing left.

And that is what happens to so many marriages that start based on this feeling of "love".

They burn out until both parties feel they have nothing left to give.

This is why divorce rates are so high.

Once the butterflies and the emotions dwindle away, once all the emotional highs have simmered down, people come to realize they are not happy in their marriages.

Some people chase this emotional high through affairs.

And it works. For a while.

But eventually that fire, too, will burn out.

I believe the first time I told my husband I loved him, that summer night three years ago, I was expressing my emotional feelings for him.

He didn't say anything in response that night.

But I fully believe that when he did say it back, he meant it.

He has always been more emotionally mature than me.

I am the type who cries at a sappy book or movie, when my baby girl laughed for the first time, when I watch my older daughter's reaction when she sees her favourite cartoon character as a toy on a shelf.

I know. Lame!

But that is just part of who I am.

As our marriage has grown over the past year, I have truly come to understand what it means to love my husband. I know it is corny to say, but I believe I love him more today than when we were first married.

Love is not an emotional high. It isn't butterflies in your tummy. It isn't a flame.

Love is putting another person's needs and wants above your own. It is a true appreciation of the other person. Love is in no way selfish.

Love comes with no regrets and no reserves.

Love is staying together until "death do you part".

Week 11(oops): Born to be Free

So this morning I hear my lovely almost 2-year-old daughter talking in her room, like she does most mornings upon waking.

"Poo-poos," she says.

And she means it.

I open her door a crack and walk away (I let her come out when she's ready to avoid some toddler drama).

She comes waltzing out into the living room.

Naked.

And completely covered in poop.

My first reaction was to laugh, shortly followed by anger.

Trying to keep it together I look at her and ask, "What happened, baby?"

Now keep in mind she isn't even two yet so her talking skills are limited.

"Poo-poos diaper potty bed."

"Bed?" Oh no.

She leads me to her room (which is a disaster because she insists on sleeping with every stuffed animal she owns and kicks them all on the floor in her sleep).

There is poop and pee everywhere. And on everything.

I try to keep my composure as I march her to the bathroom (thankful we don't have carpeting) and run a bath.

She is ecstatic. She loves baths!

As I sit on the toilet I begin crying the overwhelmed mother cry.

And then one of our kittens jumps on the side of the toilet to see what the fuss is and falls in.

He frantically climbs out and streaks across the house, leaving a trail of dirty poo-water behind him.

Then the baby starts crying.

I do the only thing I can think to do.

I pray.

Lord, help me not to lose my crap today. Give me the wisdom to know she does not know better. Give me the strength to make it through today without killing the kitten. And give me peace about the fact that my house never is (nor ever will be) perfectly clean.

Also, a live-in maid wouldn't hurt.

Amen.

Now to clean and sanitize everything!

What's your messiest poop story? How did you deal with it?

Have a great rest of the week!

- M