Things We Don't Say Enough to Our Husbands

1. Thank you.

2. You make me feel safe.

3. You are my best friend.

4. You are right.

5. I need your help.

6. You are handsome.

7. Let me help you.

8. I forgive you.

9. You make me happy.

10. I am proud of you.

- M

PS: Check out my other blog post, Things Men Don't Say Enough To Their Wives.

How to Feel More Confident

The original name of this post was going to be "How To Feel Sexier" but I really don't like the connotation behind the word "sexy" nowadays.

So, instead, I am going to write about how to be more confident about your body, your personality and just yourself in general. This post is directed at women, but that doesn't mean it isn't also helpful for men. (Some of it, obviously not all of it.)

1. Laugh more. Watch a funny movie, look at silly pictures, laugh with friends.

2. Dance. You don't have to necessarily go out with friends, you can play music and dance around your kitchen while you're cooking or baking. Which leads me to my next one...

3. Bake. Cookies, cakes, brownies, muffins. Bake up a storm. Distribute your baked goods to friends and family. Try not to over-indulge but don't skimp out. Eat a cookie!

4. Move. Run, walk, ride your bike. You don't even have to work up a sweat. Just get your muscles working. Get moving.

5. Pamper. Paint your nails, get a massage, wax your legs. Go to a spa or stay home. Make your own facial. Have some friends over to paint each other's nails.

6. Cut your hair. Try something completely different or even just get a few inches trimmed. Get bangs. Do something crazy. Dye it a different colour. Whatever you want. Its your hair!

7. Drink. No, not alcohol. Try to limit your alcohol and soft drink intake. Drink lots of water and pure juices. Make you own all-natural smoothies using your blender.

8. Friends. Spend your time with people who make you feel good about yourself. If you feel awful about yourself every time you are around someone, don't hang out with them. It's as simple as that.

9. Dress up. Don't be afraid to over-dress, as long as you keep it classy. This means skip the thigh-high slits and ultra-low v-necks. Heels to me are a no-brainer. But if you don't like heels or roll your eyes at them, wear flats.

10. Try something new. Take that new yoga class. Buy that outfit. Go to a different gym. A small change in your routine can make a big difference.

And my most important tip is: Don't rely on other people's comments to make yourself feel good. Realize that you are beautiful, worthwhile and strong.

40 Bags in 40 Days

Spring.

What a lovely time of year.

All the birds are coming out, flowers begin to bloom, even the sun makes an appearance.

And then comes the one thing that we all seem to do each and every spring.

Spring cleaning!

Some combination of nicer weather, longer days and having been cooped up all winter makes us all want to clean out the deepest and dirtiest parts of our house.

Now, this "40 bags in 40 days" is really trending. I have been all over the web (mostly Pinterest but even gave Google a try) trying to find a list of what 40 places I am supposed to clean.

I was quite unsuccessful.

So I decided to write my own.

Obviously every home is different. Some people have five bedrooms with closets to clean, some have one or two. Some have a front hall closet, some don't.

Rules for spring cleaning:

Have you used/worn it in the last six months? Keep it.

Is it stained/broken/unusable? Toss it.

Does it still have some use/wear left? Donate it.

Does it belong in a different room/cupboard/closet? Move it.

So I will share the places I will be cleaning this year.

Also, don't feel you have to limit yourself to one thing a day. I plan on getting two or three done most days! (Then the cleaning is done faster too. More time to relax and enjoy a clean home and the fresh spring air!)

So here it goes.

1. Non-bedroom closets

The first place I like to clean is the linen closet. It generally stays fairly tidy and it doesn't take much work to clean. Second, I move onto the front hall closet. Now it's time to clear out some winter stuff, organize shoes, and (hopefully!) toss/donate some things you no longer use. If you have a cleaning closet, this is when you would organize/tidy that.

2. Bedroom closets

This is probably my most dreaded place to tidy. I start with my daughters' closet, which is small and usually fairly well organized. I get rid of outgrown clothes and anything ripped or stained. Next I move to the spare room/craft room closet. This is usually pretty bad and tends to take a while. Obviously if you don't have a spare room you would skip this. Next I move on to my closet (my hubby and I each have our own). This is usually where I get discouraged. I will often find at least a garbage bag of stuff to donate. I toss any shoes that are missing a match, donate purses I no longer care for and give away clothes I probably won't wear again. Note: Even if it is brand new I will donate it if I don't think I will wear it. Next I do my husbands closet, which is usually a lot easier (he has less clothing) and involves straightening things up, hanging fallen shirts and moving anything that shouldn't be in there.

3. Kitchen
Okay. Take a big breath. And get a big box... you should be tossing LOTS from your kitchen cabinets. As the kitchen can be overwhelming, try to do one area a day. Start with the upper cabinets, including the ones above the fridge and stove. Toss anything you haven't used in the past six months, any containers without lids (or lids without containers), anything broken, mismatched or just something you don't like. Next do the bottom cabinets, including under the sink. Try to get rid of as much as you can. Kitchens are like magnets for junk. Follow up with the drawers, including cutlery and junk drawers. Toss, toss, toss! Do the pantry if you have one, get rid of old/expired food, and donate any non-perishable items you aren't going to use. Someone else might be super thankful to have it. Next, the fridge/freezer. Toss anything old or moldy. Check any produce you have. While you are in there, wipe all the shelves and wash out the drawers. Don't forget to put everything away when you are done. Wipe down your counters and stovetop while you are in there.

4. Dressers, end tables, vanitites, etc.
I like to take a break between bedroom stuff, which is why I do the kitchen after closets. You can do this in whatever order you wish. I go through the girls' dresser, donating anything I haven't ever put on them and putting away anything that is too small. I recommend investing in drawer organizers, they are great. Next, my husband's and my dresser. I often find a bunch of stuff of mine to donate. I don't usually get rid of any of his stuff (unless I really don't like it), I just try to organize it. Again, drawer organizers. I then move on to our end tables, which are basically big junk drawers. Put away anything you can and toss anything that you don't really need. Keep a minimal amount of stuff in your bedside drawer. I then go through my jewellery box and vanity, tossing old makeup or broken jewellery, donating any jewellery I don't wear anymore. Don't forgot to toss any old nailpolishes, they have a lot shorter shelf-life than I realized.

5. Garage & outside
This one will likely take a couple days. Try going through all the shelves and boxes in your garage. You will probably find a whole bunch of old or broken stuff that you don't really need. Get rid of it. Sweep the floor, organize, install hooks or shelving if you need organizing help. Next, front porch. Usually fairly easy. Sweep, get rid of any junk that has accumulated. Maybe add a nice potted plant if the weather is nice enough. After your porch looks presentable, move out to the back deck if you have one at your house. Repeat the steps for the porch; sweep, toss, etc. Clean off the BBQ. Get a bin or bucket for any outside kids toys. Tidy any toys in the yard. If you have a dog, get a pooper scooper and pick up all the poo than undoubtedly has gathered throughout the winter. I know it sucks. Do it. Your yard will look much better. Next, the shed (or sheds if you have more than one). Bring out any patio furniture and give it a good wipe-down. Really, just bring everything out of the shed so you can sweep it out and see what you have in there. Only put back in the stuff you want to keep. Install hooks or shelves for rakes, shovels, buckets, gardening gloves, etc. Hopefully it looks better and tidier once you are done.

6. Vehicle
DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP. Seriously. Don't do it. Cars accumulate a lot of crap throughout the year (or years). Empty everything out. Take seats out if you can. Empty glove compartment and console. Vacuum it (might want a shop vac for this). Vacuum seats. Wash floor mats. Wipe down control panel (or whatever it is called. I don't know anything about cars). Only put back in the stuff you actually need in there. Once everything inside is done, give the outside a good washing. Don't forget the bumpers or wheel wells.

7. Toys & movies
Wherever you keep your kids toys, go through them. Rotate them if you have anything in storage. Sanitize them. Donate any that aren't played with anymore, another kid might be super happy to get them. Go through stuffed animals, books, board games. Get rid of whatever you really don't need or want. Go through all of your movies. Match up empty cases to stray DVDs. Toss any that don't have a match; you probably won't find it. Donate any the kids have outgrown or movies you no longer have any interest in. Do the same with books if you have a whole bunch like me.

8. Pantry, laundry room, furnace room, etc.
This one might also take a while. Go through your pantry, toss expired food. Donate food you will never eat. If you have a chest freezer in your basement, go through it. Go through any shelves, cabinets or cupboards you have in your basement. Put washer through a clean cycle, vacuum out your dryer's link trap. If you have any storage boxes, go through them. Try tackling one or two boxes a day. You will probably find a ton of stuff you forgot you had and probably don't need. Try not to hold on to things you have no use for because they have memories attached to them. Take a picture, make a scrapbook of all these kinds of things. Then toss/donate them. You will feel better after you've gone through them. If you need inspiration, watch an episode or two of Hoarders.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes and if you have anything to add :)

I have already tossed seven bags and two big (I mean BIG) boxes of junk. How are you doing? Comment below and let me know!

God bless!

- M

Being a Better Wife - 1950's Style

When I was a teenager, I sneered at descriptions of what a 1950's housewife should be. I found it to be demeaning, outdated and chauvinistic. I was offended.

Now, having been married almost two years, I am able to look at things from a different point of view.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that anyone else has to agree with this. It is my own personal conviction and should remain as such. If you agree with me, awesome. If you don't, that's great too. What a boring world if everybody agreed on everything!

The following statements were taken from a 1950's home economics textbook.

1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return.

How I interpret this: It is really in your best interest to plan meals ahead of time. Now, I get that some days we just don't have the energy to do this, whether we are sick, PMS-ing or just plain exhausted. That's okay. I think we get a few lenient days. But as a general rule, this makes sense to follow.

2) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch-up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be refreshed looking.

How I interpret this: I would be amazingly thankful for a 15 minute "rest" everyday. And I certainly don't see anything wrong with looking visually appealing to your husband. Again, we all have off days. And if you are sick and in your pyjamas when your husband gets home, that is okay. Just don't make it a daily thing. Woman are so focused on their own "rights" and on being the dominant partner that they forget to try and please their husbands. I don't think you need to put a "ribbon" in your hair, but running a brush through it doesn't hurt. Obviously if you don't wear makeup, you don't need to touch it up. But I see no issue with putting on a fresh coat of lipstick or mascara when you are expecting him to return. Even throwing on a shirt he likes makes a difference. You might think he doesn't notice; believe me, he does.

3) Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

How I interpret this: This again isn't a bad thing. Personally, I am so happy to see my husband when he gets home. Even if I am so mad at him and want to hit him, part of me is happy and usually that part of me bubbles through to the surface. Hug him. Kiss him. Tell him you missed him. Don't be afraid to be sappy and corny.

4) Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

How I interpret this: This particular one isn't just for your husband; its for you as well. If your home is peaceful and tranquil, you will feel better as well. And personally, I find it to be more peaceful when things are in order. This doesn't mean your house has to be spotless at all times. But taking care of your home and children (if you have them) is the responsibility of the housewife. People like to come home and relax after working; whether its your husband or yourself. This doesn't mean he should get home and sit on the couch watching TV while you clean, nor that he should have to work while you go take a nap. You can help one another do what needs to be done as long as you make sure to take the time to relax and actually enjoy one another's company.

5) Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he must have gone through all day.

How I interpret this: This one is a tough one. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I don't disagree either. I feel you can completely ignore the second half of this, because it is unnecessary. In my opinion, if your husband feels the need to stay out all night, then yes, it is a big deal. This does not give you permission to nag and whine. Take it as a cue to talk about things that might be bothering him. Work through it together. I don't think this is something that should be overlooked or ignored. You don't need to know where the other is every second of every day, but I do believe you owe it to one another to let the other know if you will be home later than expected. But I do not believe you should complain about it, because it will put distance between the two of you and possibly make the situation worse.

6) Catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

How I interpret this: I find this to be fairly accurate. If you try your best to please your husband, I believe you will feel a deep inner peace about it. And the more you try to care for his needs, the more he will respond and turn around and do the same. I know I sound super old-fashioned to say this, but I believe it is a wife's role to take care of her husband when she can, just as it is the husband's role to protect and provide for his wife. I know this is a different time, with women going to work and even some men staying home with the kids, and that is not a bad thing. Obviously people all have a different situation, but for us personally this is how we roll and it works out great for us.


Again, you don't need to agree with everything I have said. In fact, I welcome your comments. Maybe you can make me look at it a different way. I hope I've been able to do that for you.

God bless your marriages (current or future) and have a wonderful week!

With love <3

- M

Fresh Start

So as it turns out I am very easily distracted. I obviously haven't written anything in quite some time, and for that I apologize.

I am working on trying to fix my lack of motivation and procrastination.

So here's to fresh starts and new beginnings!

I hope you will continue reading my blog as I keep it updated much more often.